June 20, 2016

Side effects are exponentially ramped up.  Please pray for Steve to be able to get comfortable for the next 2 weeks....and for him to be able to eat.  He's down 18 pounds from diagnosis...

Happy Father's Day

First of all, I think I'm the only person in this day and age who doesn't have easy access to a picture of her father.  I apologize for that.  I love my dad dearly and I am a horrible picture-taker (is this what happens when your sister is a professional photographer and you know that no matter what your attempts, you won't come close to capturing anything remotely as well as she will, so you don't even bother??) I'd like to thank my dad for loving my mom enough to have more than 2 children, for supporting us, for providing us with lots of opportunities for success, and for loving us.

Secondly, I can't let this day pass without also giving my beloved husband a shout-out.  As I scrolled through facebook and saw all the posts it just killed me to not be able to add one of my own, but out of respect for him and his requested privacy, I'll post my shout-out here.  Steve's had one rough year.  I dialed 911 on Nov. 1, 2015 and he hasn't had one single day since then that he hasn't experienced pain.  However, he's fought.  He's fought from the beginning, and he's fought for us...his family.  I think there have definitely been times that if it were up to him, he would have just given up, because it would have been an easier path for him.  However, he loves us enough to fight, and I appreciate that every day.  There was a lady at my bridal shower (I know...a good memory is a gift and a curse...at least I don't remember which lady said it) who said, "I hope you're prepared to be a widow for a long time."  Unbelievable.  I know.  Steve is 6 1/2 years older than I.  However, I am NOT prepared to be a widow before I turn 40 and I've had to stare that reality in the face over the past month.  So has Steve.  That is hard.  Very hard.  I've decided I'm not OK with that, and he's GOT to win this fight.  I know he's not OK with that either, and he's doing everything in his power to come out on top.

Through it all, he's been kind to his caretakers (including me), and gracious in his illness.  I remember a couple of times waking up in the hospital to him telling me how beautiful I am.  I'm telling you what, you don't wake up feeling beautiful after sleeping in a recliner night after night....but it sure feels good to hear someone still thinks you're beautiful.

Steve and I have traversed this parenting journey together.  We've learned a lot, and hopefully we haven't damaged our kids too much. :) Steve has worked very hard to provide a lovely life for our family, and he's even managed to provide for us in his illness.  I feel very blessed to have found Steve.  He's a good man, and a wonderful father.  

My sweet sister sent me this video today.  My grandma passed away on April 8th and this video was taken while Steve was in the hospital (December 2015).  She echos my sentiments exactly.

***I'm working on figuring out a way to shrink the video - it's too big to upload as is***

Just for your reference, I'm going to add 2 photos.  The first was taken at the end of October 2015 on our fantastic family trip to Washington/Canada.  The second was taken 2 Sundays ago.  These pictures illustrate the journey Steve's traveled...and it's not one I envy.

Happy Father's Day, honey.  I sincerely hope and pray we get to continue celebrating Father's Days with you here with us for many years to come.  Thank you for fighting!  It means the world to me and the kids.  I love you.

Chemo is finished!! Yay!!

Steve got to ring the bell!

June 16, 2016

Well....good news and bad news. The bad news is chemo sucks. After radiation yesterday it really hit hard....the nausea that is. Steve slept most of yesterday and today. That dang poison....but....the good news is that it's working, and that's wonderful. He gets it taken off tomorrow at noon, and we're very hopeful that will be the last of the chemo in this house. Steve's last day of radiation will be June 27th and the doctor says he'll feel much better by his birthday. :)

June 15, 2016

Steve is tolerating this round of chemo really well. He coached a few boys through running and bleachers yesterday at the track and he also ran a practice this morning. I think working with his team again gives him more reasons to fight.  Those boys love him as much as he loves them.

He didn't sleep hardly at all yesterday.  He was up and helping a lot of the day. He even grilled our burgers at about 3.

Thank you for checking in on us. We appreciate your love and support.

June 14, 2016

Steve's doing pretty well on this round of chemo so far. Some nausea and lots of sleeping, but managing symptoms so far. Radiation changes today. It becomes more focused for the last 10 sessions. One nurse said the symptoms would get worse, one said he wouldn't notice a change....so.....we shall see.....

June 13, 2016

What a lovely weekend we had. It was so nice to get a break from radiation. Steve had a little more energy. He ran a soccer meeting and this morning he coached a practice. He loves those boys.

Our church service was really really fantastic yesterday. It was really encouraging....just what I needed.  I've found recently that going to church gives me strength in a way it never has before. The sense of community and love and support that I feel really fills my cup on top of feeling the love of my Heavenly Father and the comfort of the Holy Ghost.

Yesterday the overriding theme was "you're doing better than you think you are".  Sometimes we need to hear that instead of all the things we SHOULD be doing.  Our neighbors have been so supportive and loving and we are so blessed.

Steve went down to my parents' with me last night so I could cut some heads of hair and he even watched some soccer with my dad.

We are both dreading this week, but the sooner we get going the sooner it will be behind us.

Thanks for checking on us.

June 10, 2016

Caitlin and Patrick left for California at 3 o'clock this morning. We will miss them immensely, but I know they will have a lot of fun. This is our last day with our cute little Adams Clan, as they are going to their new home now.

We really enjoyed having them in our home for a little over a week.

Steve is feeling very bleh and is excited to get a short break over the weekend.

June 9, 2016

Steve was crazy yesterday. After radiation, while I went with Caitlin and Emily to get their hair cut, he went down and cleaned up the basement. Whoa. I got home and I was SHOCKED. He was getting it ready gor his sister, who arrived last night.  What a good brother. I was dreading going through everything and making all those decisions (what to keep....what to chuck, etc) seemed overwhelming. He went and just stacked the boxes out of the way so I can deal with those decisions later. Cool, huh?

Maybe now I can tackle the bottom level one of these days.  It is such a relief.

Yesterday afternoon we met with the chemo doc.  Steve's levels are ok for another round.

Hopefully he can enjoy today with his sister. 

PS We got really good news right after I originally posted this....the tumor is DEFINITELY responding to treatment.  It's smaller.  YAY!!!

June 8, 2016

Good morning! Here we go again. We are officially past half way. Steve is really struggling with insomnia. His sleep schedule is really messed up. It is encouraging to be past half way. We meet with the chemo oncologist this afternoon and they're going to draw some blood and check levels as well as do an iron study. We should have results on Friday. We stay the course for now. Steve's little sister, Sami, will arrive today and leave Friday with Daniel, Caitlin and Patrick. She'll bring them back on the 22nd. How fantastic for them to get away and do some fun things. I'm going to miss them a lot, though.

June 7, 2016

Another day, more radiation. Having a little bit of a hard time with Steve's port. It will flush, but it won't draw back. I'm trying to coordinate paperwork to make it so we can go to IV therapy straight from radiation to get the issue resolved. Steve's feeling a little better these days....he hasn't taken any antinausea meds for 2 days. He's gained back half a pound. We're dreading chemo starting again next Monday.

Update: Steve weighed on our way out....his weight was down and he needed antinausea medicine....

June 6, 2016

Here we go again....back at the hospital for radiation. Church was lovely yesterday. I always feel so loved and supported when I go to church. We have a special congregation that really reaches out to lift each other up. We have been lifted and lifted and lifted.  It really does help to fill my cup and lift my spirits. I'm sorry Steve doesn't get to feel it.

We celebrated Father's Day yesterday. It was wonderful to honor Steve and the wonderful father that he is.

Thank you for checking on us. Thank you for your prayers and love. We feel it. We appreciate it.

June 4, 2016

Yesterday was a hard day. It just was. My emotions were on the surface and I was overwhelmed. My lovely neighbor and friend cut a rose from her garden for me.

Isn't it beautiful? Every time I've looked at it today, I've been reminded of all the lovely people who love us and are supporting us on our journey. I truly appreciate it. Thank you.

Steve went to soccer tryouts today. He was a rockstar. He loves those boys. I'm so glad he had a reason to fight today.  I know it's hard for him to fight, but I'm so glad he's fighting. Today is my parents' 45th wedding anniversary. I'd like to have one of those someday, too....

June 3, 2016

Steve had a better day yesterday, except for a nagging headache we couldn't resolve. Today he feels pretty marginal and still has that dang headache. The reality of the situation is sinking in, and that's a hard pill to swallow.

Thanks for checking on us and praying for us.

June 2, 2016

June? How is it June? Yesterday marked 7 months since I called 911. Wow. Steve is sick and tired of being sick and tired. Geesh. Sweet man.

Today is a little better so far. Steve got up and did the dishes! They'll probably zap his energy right out of him here at radiation, but it was lovely having him join us for breakfast and scriptures this morning. What a blessing. The hair cut photos are still coming, so go back and check that entry if you want to be overwhelmed with the love and support Steve is receiving.

Soccer tryouts and track meets this week....we stay plenty busy.

Thanks for checking in.

June 1, 2016

Steve weighed in at 156.3 yesterday....fully clothed with shoes on. His blood pressure was 90/64. His home health nurse, Savanna, came and accessed his port and gave him a bag of fluids.  He'll get 2 more bags this week.

Steve was awfully tired yeaterday, and he slept most of the day. I think going back to radiation took a lot out of him.

Thanks for checking on us.

May 31, 2016

10 down, 20 to go (radiation treatments). It was a big weekend...Steve and Daniel got their heads shaved and everyone is finished with school. Steve took the older boys to the track yesterday morning. It wore everybody out.

Steve continues to fight pain and nasty side effects, but he's fighting. He's managed to stay healthy otherwise, which is a tremendous blessing. He's not gaining weight, but he seems to have stopped losing...which is also a blessing.

Thanks for checking on us.

Haircuts!

I am amazed how many people are shaving their heads in support of Steve. I'll add to this post as I receive more pictures.

May 27, 2016

Another day, another radiation treatment, another sick day. This sucks.

May 26, 2016

The photo on the top right of the screen is the original xray underneath the xray they took that morning.  They take a new xray every single day and compare it to the original and make any adjustments needed.  Yesterday the adjustment was 1mm.  They can control the table from the control station, so they can adjust it without even going back into the room where Steve is.  

You can see the 3 cameras in the top screen that show Steve in the room, so they can monitor everything from the control station.

In these 2 photos, you can see the lasers that they line up to Steve's markings.  They align him every morning.  They made some permanent tatoos and then he has some semi-permanent markings as well.  They line up both sides.  You can see how far over the table moves.  The base is on the left, but the table moves over to the right so the machine can rotate around underneath.  The Xrays go right through the bottom of the table.  They move to 9 different angles in order to try to minimize any side effects to the surrounding tissues.

This is what Steve goes through every morning. He's one tough cookie. I sure love that man.