Reflections

I just read the Joneses' post and this was my comment to her:

Yes, it's amazing...truly amazing. Remember that ICU stay - and that day without your pump? Was that 5 years ago - no! It couldn't have been. How is that possible? Is it possible that it's been 3 1/2 years since that ice storm? Nooooooooooooo. Couldn't be. How can it be? Has it really been 2 1/2 years since that dreadful phone call while I was "covering" for you as basketball coach (that was a joke!) No way. Gosh, where did all the time go? We miss you guys so much. I miss being part of your lives....more than once a month or so. I'm so sorry we are separated. I love each of you so much. You each mean so much to me. I'm so glad Spencer is growing older. So glad. I'm sad that as Sophie grows older her bond with me grows weaker. I love her so much, and soon her memories of our daily triumphs and battles will fade. Such is life. I guess it's what we signed up for. I miss you, nonetheless.

I guess I'm just reflecting on how we've spent our last 9 1/2 years of marriage. It's been good...Texas was good. Las Vegas is OK - but in such a different way. It's hard to move on - to leave those you love so dearly behind. It's bitter-sweet to look back on the memories - I constanty have to say "Did we do the right thing? How could we have left (voluntarily) such a perfect life? I know Steve's job wasn't perfect, and that was the motivation for the move. There are things that are good about living here. We've been able to spend a lot more time with family - since we're so much closer. Steve is able to go help his mom a lot more, and that's a blessing....for her, for us, and for our children. We aren't too keen on the weather, though, and even as I get "settled in" here, I think - someday I'm going to leave all these good friends here. In some ways I'm jelous of the pioneers who just stay put. It would be nice to put down roots and know you're going to be some place forever. It's nice to see different places and get to know different people, too, but it's hard to leave, and hard to move on. We were very blessed with good friends in Texas....maybe that's why I'm hesitant to make "really good" friends here....because I know that will just make it harder to leave. It's so nice to have my sister here now. I hope we can always live by each other. Her kids are good for my kids, and she's good for me. I'm glad Steve has a friend, too.

Well, those are the thoughts I'm having tonight. The weather here is lovely and we went to the park again today. Kenneth had a very emotional afternoon. I strive to stay calm and not lose my temper with him, but he pushes me sometimes. He is tired. He's asleep - and it's 7:30. Actually, all 3 kids are asleep. No wonder they were so crabby. Daniel overheard me telling a telemarketer (who called at 6pm) that I was trying to get dinner together and I had crabby kids and he said "I not crabby, mom". He actually wasn't crabby right then - but Kenneth and Caitlin were...

Anyway, Steve made it home in time for a nice family dinner and that was wonderful. Now he's heading back to work....and I should work a while....so I'll sign off.